The Day I Decided I’m Fabulous, My Life Got a Whole Lot Better

The ages 16 and 17 were tough on me and during this period I developed severe anxiety and horrible insecurities about the way I look and I think they stayed with me pretty much till around 6 months back when I got out of what I hadn’t realized was an extremely toxic relationship. My life…

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Solace

I’m trembling. He holds me in his arms. I’m shaking, my mind is exploding with emotions I cannot contain. I’m a mess, a broken mess but right now in his arms I’m starting to feel safe again. Please don’t let go. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. Suddenly it doesn’t matter how my past…

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Vow

You close your eyes and look away. You’re fighting back tears and it absolutely crushes me. It breaks my heart, you have a past so troubled. And it breaks my heart because you, my love, you deserved none of it. A single tear rolls down. No love, hush, you’re okay now. You’re in my arms…

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Mi Amor,

Before you open your heart to me, remember this. I’ve my terrible days. Days when I cannot get out of the bed because the weight of a past that I fight to let go of brings me down and leaves me frozen, a million painful memories replay in my brain. I’ve far too many insecurities,…

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23328000 seconds of you

Mi Amor, Four months into being us, one cloudy Sunday morning I woke up to you, wrapped in your arms and I realized that I was completely, utterly and unconditionally in love with you. The breeze was cool, the sky was downcast and it was quiet all around, and for the first time in my…

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How to Love Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Long read (4-7 mins) Until August 2015 when I was diagnosed, I didn’t know anything about personality disorders, forget BPD. But with a break-up gone horribly wrong and my coping mechanisms turning extremely unhealthy I knew something was amiss. I was so utterly lost and desperate to escape pain altogether. That’s how I first started…

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Smushball

Hey. For my sake and for the sake of our relationship, I hope you are someone who reads. The words I type have always conveyed my feelings better than anything else. I think about you often, mostly because I’m terrified you aren’t real or I will never find you. You are the man I will…

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Pep Talk

You’ve made a complete and total mess of your life so far, and I’m glad you’re finally waking up and seeing the light. Thank you for finally realizing that it is time to fix things. You’ve been blessed with a combination of your insanely smart parents’ brain and we both know that hands down you…

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Worry not, sweet thing

You are but just 19. Your life awaits to be lived, memories await to be made, and many, many moments of happiness await to come alive. Worry not, sweet thing. Someday you’ll meet a beautiful man and he’ll treat you exactly how you wish to be treated. He’ll give you kisses on the cheek when…

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Dear Es,

I ask myself, for what could be the millionth time, why can’t I let go of you. But I know the answer, and it has been clear to me for as long as a year now. I can’t because I’d just never been loved, like by you ever before and so I hold on. And to think…

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