Who doesn’t love a dramatic headline?

Turns out Tauruses and Gemini’s really can’t be together. HAHA what a fucking JOKE my last post seems like now. I’m sorry I’ve been on hiatus when it comes to writing but I was and still am trying to wrap my finger around how people can possibly flip as quickly they do and so blatantly say things and make promises they absolutely cannot keep.

I’m madder at myself for being so naive. Ugh.

But I guess if anything I’ve realized, I may just be quite a high maintenance girlfriend to have and while I blamed that being the cause for this particular Gemini flipping so hard so quick but as of this week, I don’t really feel all that bad about it anymore.

The purpose of this post may just be so I can justify to myself why it’s okay to be high maintenance and why I shouldn’t feel terrible about it. Also TAKE NOTE FUTURE PROSPECTS.

I need attention. And while I understand that not every one’s pretty fucking great at balancing priorities like I am, I’ve realized I simply cannot be with someone who cannot do the same. I need a good 2-3 calls or maybe just even short text conversations a day to remain updated about what’s happening in your life and I truly think that’s reasonable. If I wanted someone who I can just talk to when I get free and have no work, I’d get a friend. I don’t want a friend. I have enough. I keep making more. I need you to be my partner, and my best friend. My go to person, a priority, my personal shoulder to lean on when things get fucking horrible. Because I’d strive to be that person for you always.

But then again, I never want to be with someone who treats me like I’m a responsibility that needs to be taken care of. It’s not your duty to give me calls at regular intervals in a day so I’m happy, you must feel the need to include me in your life. Because when I’m with someone, I feel the need to. I’ll need you to know what’s happening with me. You’re a part of my life, you’d want to know. Or go away man, get a friend. Or a dog.

My affection never wanes, only grows. So if you’re going to treat me like a princess for the first four weeks and then just stop and just expect me to understand HEEYYY okay wooing’s done now I’ll treat you however it pleases me bish, HAHA no man, sorry. That’s not going to happen. Also in my ideal relationship, I’d first really want to take as much time possible in getting to know my partner and just spending a HELL lot of time with them and then spoil them silly with extravagant and thoughtful, ADORABLE gestures once the relationship matures to a stable level. Experience has taught that may be the best way to go because you see, when the relationship’s starting off, it’s all smooth sailing, but then you hit a point where it’s starting to get too comfortable and the ride actually starts getting a little rocky, the fights are a lot more, celebrations are a lot more meaningful and that’s when you occasionally need some extra genuine effort to bring a smile onto your partner’s face.

Consistency is KEY. I NEED consistency.

I’m a HUGE fan of taking things slow. Jumping into things is all I’ve done all my life and when it comes to relationships it has literally never worked with me. Don’t say I love you without meaning it, I take that stuff seriously. I start investing time and energy into making it fucking happen. Chances are if I’m still giving you my undivided attention two weeks into introductions, I’m probably already thinking where to plan our destination wedding.  lol. jk. not. BUT however I’m usually never the first one to say the magic words because I really do love taking my own sweet time until I’m sure that it can go anywhere and my expending my time, energy and effort into it won’t turn to be a colossal waste. I guess you could say I’m guarded. Or practical. Or other synonym variations of careful and calculated despite emotionally being quite alarmingly impulsive.

hey man, I also like to crib and complain about work, gym, stupid friends who take terrible decisions who I love nevertheless and be incredibly dramatic because that’s how I lighten my mood and deal with things.

hey man, that’s how it is.

Obviously if you’re in love with me and wish to work things out with me, you’re going to put in a lot of effort and time and heart, basically. Because I would. If i were in love with you. With every beat of my tender little heart. Plus I’m one helluva catch. Let’s take a moment to remember I’m a hot as hell, intelligent, hella talented, incredibly flexible (wink wink) occasionally witty, annoyingly positive, absolutely gorgeous woman who has the biggest heart you’re ever going to come across, who’s probably going shower more love on you in one day that you wouldn’t have experienced in a year. ok that’s a bit much sorry lol but you get what I’m saying.

I love hard. And I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, my love wish wash over you like a powerful fucking wave. And that’s how I like it. And that’s how I always will be. But ONLY if you’re the same way. I’ve learnt my lesson.

None of that love is selfless, you give and expect nothing BS. What a terrible way to live life. Love those who love you. Care for those who care for you. Give zero fucks about people who consistently fuck things up.

But let me be clear, when our investments into the relationship aren’t at the same level consistently, I will walk away.

I read an Instagram post today about how ridiculous the whole if you love someone let them go, if they come back it’s true love concept is. I absolutely agree. Total BS. FIGHT, for who you want and what you want. ALWAYS. And if whoever who love doesn’t do the same, ask them to fuck off. Spending the precious time you get on earth waiting around for someone to figure out if they’re still in love with you or not is stupid as hell. A healthy break however, isn’t. Sometimes, you must take some time out to figure your own shit out. A good partner understands and respects that. But always communicate. Don’t go days without even a text. Don’t go absolutely AWOL that’s disrespectful and hurtful as hell. Also if you ever have to question if you love someone, ummm honey, that probably isn’t love. Love is that good feeling deep inside your bones, it resides in the corners of your heart. It’s deep affection, it’s comforting and it’s never a feeling that incites irritation or insecurity. Sure sometimes life gets ahead of you and you get busy and it gets seemingly difficult to keep your partner happy or put them first. And that’s okay. But that’s when communication becomes an absolute priority.

How difficult is it to call and say, “Hey, work stress is getting to me and I’m unable to balance things out. Give me two days to figure this out. Don’t worry, everything’s perfectly alright between us, this is just work stuff. I’ll keep you posted okay? I love you.”

Inevitably your partner’s going to feel a little bad, but they’re also going to understand. Because at some point they’d need the same and they’d expect you to understand.

KEEP THEM POSTED. One text is all it takes, that’s barely a minute of your time. Stop making stupid excuses and being fucking inconsiderate. It’s one thing to get comfortable and reach a certain level of understanding but NEVER take your relationship for granted. No.

Are you thinking, damn y’all relationships are hard. Yes. OF COURSE they are. But they’re a zillion times more rewarding. And how lovely it is to know that, there’s someone out there who prioritises your happiness and genuinely gives a fuck about you and your glorious mess of a life.

Finding a balance between everything you’ve to deal with in life is hard. But you keep learning, you just have to not give up the second things get a little haywire.

FIGHT to make things WORK, DON’T GIVE UP. It’s worth it.

So in conclusion,

Honey if you’re looking for something easy or someone easy to be with, that’s not me. Run along now.

But if you want to be with someone who’s going to try and brighten up your days and nights, fight for you, who’s going to try her best to make you smile always and keep you happy, and basically love you the hardest you’re ever going to be loved, that’s me. If you’d do the same for me. And ONLY then. And that takes a fuck lot of work and commitment.

Black and white with the occasional grey IS THE WAY TO GO!

Peace out.

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Posted by:karthikaaaa

21, Bangalore.

One thought on “My Life is in Shambles

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