I will never know everything about anything at all and I will never be perfect at anything at all.

There is ALWAYS room to improve. And because there is, I must. There is ALWAYS more I can learn about something. And because there is, I must if I want to be any closer to my definition of success.

Failure is alright, never let it get you down, let it push you to try harder.

When I was younger I was an achiever. I pretty much won everything I put my heart to, I was naturally good at academics without even trying, I pretty much excelled at sports and I was an all-rounder. This may just have been an insane stroke of luck. But anyway over years, this made me ridiculously over confident.

And a pompous, useless idiot.

But then I started to suck at things. In eleventh grade, my life changed. My grades dropped to 87 for the very first time and I started having severe insecurities about pretty much everything in my life. I never again could perform on stage in front of a crowd or participate in a sport, I decided I was dumb, ugly and had zero real talents. All because my streak of luck had come to an end, I was terrified of failing and my solution to this was by not doing anything I could fail at. Also in my 12th grade mock exams, I failed Math and that was the last straw.

Sure felt like rock bottom.

Then I sort of just accepted what was right in front of me. Alright, I may not be as smart as I assumed, I will need to work on academics unlike before. And I did. And I scored a 95 in Math which is awesome because I’ve never liked Math. And my percentage came back up.

During my various internships, I’ve had some of my ideas just shot right out the window and rejected. I guess in the beginning it affected me a lot. Obviously being the pompous fuck I am, of course I assumed my ideas were fantastic and just took it personally each time that happened. And then at one point I finally did realize that I was just being a pompous fuck and decided to actually learn from my mistakes. And I started asking questions. I actually learnt what works and what doesn’t. Today I’ve realized that it is inevitable that some of my ideas and some of the work I do will suck, they will contain mistakes, I will screw up. But that’s alright. Because that only gives me an opportunity to learn from them and do a better job. Basically better myself and be a little smarter than before.

Whoever said life is a constant process of learning and unlearning was a smart man. Or woman. (did someone actually say that or could this actually pass off for an original quote, idk)

The fear of failure is the only thing that holds you back.

Fight it.

Accept this, sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

If you have an idea, pitch it. Sometimes your idea clicks, sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, ASK WHY. Learn. Which good boss wouldn’t appreciate it when someone genuinely shows interest and makes a genuine effort to improve? If you like someone, tell them. Maybe they’ll say yes and life will seem perfect. Maybe they’ll say no and life will suck for a bit. And then you move on. Because life goes on. You’ll meet other people, you WILL fall in love again. If you want to be friends with someone, wave, go up and say hi, send them a friendly text. Maybe they’ll respond positively, maybe they won’t. Doesn’t fucking matter because again, life goes on. One person not being your friend isn’t the end of the world. You’re going to meet so many other people and in a month, you’re not going to mull over this.

In a month if you’re mulling over this, you’re being an idiot and I honestly don’t know how you have the time to waste over this. You need to up your hustle. Work hard, play hard. Gather all the courage you have, make the first move. Socialize. Put your talents to use. Learn a new skill. Improve an existing skill. There is ALWAYS something to do, there is ALWAYS scope for improvement.

Here’s a painful truth. Nobody cares that much about you to spend all their time thinking about the time you fucked up. Nope. That’s just you. Everybody’s worrying about their own fuckups.

But here’s how you can be one step ahead of them.

Stop. Being. Terrified. Of. Failure. And. Embarrassment.

Just do your thing.

I will never be perfect. But that’s alright. I can always strive to be the best version of myself. And that comes with hard work, humility and an  honest desire to learn and improve. And so that is what I’ll do.

 

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Posted by:karthikaanand

20, Writer.

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