The ages 16 and 17 were tough on me and during this period I developed severe anxiety and horrible insecurities about the way I look and I think they stayed with me pretty much till around 6 months back when I got out of what I hadn’t realized was an extremely toxic relationship.
My life since then has been abso-fucking-lutely fabulous (if you’re catching all the SATC references, good job)
I guess it really is true when people say your thoughts have the power to attract things into your life because these days it appears fab parties, great friends, good times and hot men are just magically finding their way into my life. I also feel ultra confident in my own skin and I genuinely feel sexy in everything I wear.
My dear friend S in fact commented the other day, ‘It’s difficult to be sad around you, you’re so fucking happy’ and I swear that’s by far the best compliment I have ever received. I think I’d always like to be remembered as the person you absolutely cannot be unhappy around.
Of course I wasn’t always like this and I must honestly admit I still have some terrible days too (mostly PMS) when I just don’t feel fabulous or motivated to achieve greatness. But you see then again, here’s something you’ve heard a million times in your life and never believed,
happiness is a choice
It’s that easy. Just choose to think positive thoughts, watch a positive show, listen to some positive happy music, just literally force yourself to happy.
People tell me, it’s not that easy. Well, I don’t know about them, but it works perfectly fine for me.
Here’s what I do when I’m upset. I get myself a packet of chips. Nay, not Lays. Just that good old packet of potato chips you get from these local bakeries/cig shops at like every corner in town for 15 bucks. Of course it’s not healthy, it’s all pure carbs and my diet goes to shit but it tastes good and it’s my happy food.
I watch videos of cats, chiropractic adjustment compilations and my favourite body builders. Depends on my mood really. If I want to laugh, the cats always do their charm. Chiropractic adjustments always relax me. And bodybuilders are fucking hot and their dedication gets me all pumped up, like FUCK YES, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE, I’M GOING TO DO SOME SQUATS NOW.
I binge watch SATC or Parks and Rec or Modern Family or just the Dothraki bits of GOT season 1 (Drogo, you beast of a man, I love you)
I write corny shit. Works like a charm every time. I’m a sucker for love and I literally could sit for hours dreaming about my fantastic imaginary relationship with whoever I’ve a crush on at the time. Writing just makes it feel a whole lot more real and I love it. (I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, yes every single love/relationship piece I’ve written is fiction but ahahaha not for long, my one big love is coming)
I clean my room. Super relaxing. Super satisfying.
I update my calendar. Put little to-do’s and goals all through the month. I fucking love staying organized, it makes me feel very hmm, productive. Daz right. Sure some months I don’t really meet all my goals but that’s okay to make a plan is the first step and I know that maybe I’ll delay it but I’ll do it all at some point.
HUSTLE. HUSTLE. HUSTLE.
Some days I actually open my calendar and catch up on the stuff I’ve been putting off for fucking forever and it’s the most satisfying feeling. That reminds me, I need to seriously make some lifestyle posts for this blog.
I splurge. Would I regret it later at the end of the month when I’m broke and wishing I’d saved some cash? Probably. Am I going to worry about that and let it stop me now? AW HELL NO.
I join tinder. I barely stay for a day each time I do but somehow my tinder’s always been lucky and I always score some hot men and have some great conversations and go on some great dates. My male friends tell me this never happens and getting matches is rare so I guess it’s just us ladies who get lucky always on this wonderful app so oh well, works for me. I haven’t really been on tinder for ages now because life’s been pretty happening but I know when it starts to get boring, I trust dear tinder to spice it up.
I do self-care-pamper-sess. Skin care, exercise, stretch, waxing, drink some three liters of water, really just anything that makes me feel like I’m taking care of my body and pampering myself. (I recommend getting a foot reflexology done if you’re willing to shell out a few hundred bucks. It’s pretty fucking amazing and worth the cash spent) Skin care is pretty much an every day affair really, though and if you really know me you’d know I give serious importance to my naturally good, blessed skin and take immense care to ensure I never get acne. (water, really, it’s the secret)
Here’s what I never do when I’m upset. Drink. It always only makes it all worse for me because in all my experience alcohol has always acted as a downer for me unless in a club, where it tends to make me incredibly hyper and dance like a madwoman. Then again, I’m quitting alcohol y’all so one drink, max two, that’s it, no more. And you know what, almost sober partying isn’t so bad. I’m starting to really like it. The other night I went to this fancy ass hotel for a party and literally just had one beer and it didn’t hit me at all but it really didn’t matter. I had great company, the DJ played some bomb music, Imet an incredibly hot guy and I danced my heart out. What a fun night.
Of course life is not always so much fun and really the only thing that really gets me down is the fact that I’ve been single for too long now and I’m honestly yet to experience a relationship that goes beyond four months so you know, it gets lonely. But then again, I know exactly how wonderful I am. I’ve a big heart, a wonderful personality, a great body, ambitions and I’m fabulous. So you see, I refuse to settle for anything less than I deserve and they say good things come to those who wait and I know exactly what I want (read – a very specific type when it comes to men, heh) so I guess I’ll just wait it out.
And where has all my positivity gotten me? Oh well today I’m a confident, fiercely self-assured, happy person (on 6 days out of 7 since I invariably always have one low day I always have to fix) and I love my life.
You see, in my opinion, it all comes down to what you believe. I’m fabulous because I believe I’m fabulous. And you could be too, you just have to believe it.